Malta Short Let: Cozy Stay in Gzira
Sliema Area Modern Designer Finished 2 Bedrooms + Games Room. First floor with Maltese Balcony Large back Terrace with swinging sofa Fully Airconditioned + Full Kitchen 3 TVs, including 65” with backlight.
Book Now: Google Travel | Direct (Cheapest) | Booking.com | Airbnb

A Totally Non-Awkward Guide for Every Age

Let’s face it – picking beach attire can feel like trying to solve a Rubik’s cube blindfolded. But fear not! Here’s your ultimate guide to rocking those Mediterranean vibes without looking like a confused tourist or an escapee from a 1920s swimming competition.

The Tiny Humans (Kids & Toddlers)

Parents, rejoice! This is literally the only age group that can wear fluorescent yellow with rainbow dinosaurs and still look completely appropriate. Some key points:

• UV suits are your best friends – made from materials that sound like they’re from a sci-fi movie (UPF 50+), these suits are the superheroes of beachwear, protecting your kiddo from becoming a sunburnt superhero
• Those adorable tiny sunhats are like the unicorns of toddler fashion – elusive, beautiful, but rarely seen in action. Still, buy them anyway for those Instagram moments
• Pro tip: Pack approximately 17 backup swimsuits. Your little one will somehow need all of them
• Fun fact: Malta has beaches where the sand is so fine it’s almost like powder – perfect for sandcastles but less so for keeping those mythical hats on!

Malta Short Let: Cozy Stay in Gzira
Sliema Area Modern Designer Finished 2 Bedrooms + Games Room. First floor with Maltese Balcony Large back Terrace with swinging sofa Fully Airconditioned + Full Kitchen 3 TVs, including 65” with backlight.
Book Now: Google Travel | Direct (Cheapest) | Booking.com | Airbnb

The Teen Scene (13-19)

Ah, the age where beach fashion feels like a matter of life and death. Deep breaths, everyone:

• For the girls: Those TikTok-trending suits are totally fine here. Yes, the ones with more cutouts than actual fabric. But pack a cute cover-up for your parents’ peace of mind. Did you know? The Maltese have a saying, “Xemx u bahar” (sun and sea) – your outfit should definitely reflect this vibrant spirit!
• For the guys: Board shorts are still cool. No, really. But if you’re going for the “European look,” remember that confidence is key (and maybe pack a backup pair of longer shorts just in case)
• Universal teen rule: Whatever you choose, make sure it’s “Instagram-worthy” – especially during golden hour when the sun sets over the sea. Those likes won’t earn themselves!

The Twenty-Something Crowd

Welcome to the age of existential beach crisis! Here’s how to handle it:

• Ladies: High-waisted bikinis are like the comfort food of beach fashion – they never let you down. One-pieces have also made a comeback, and not just the “I gave up” kind. We’re talking stylish cuts that say “I’m a sophisticated adult” (even if you had cereal for dinner)
• Gents: Mid-length swim shorts are your safe space. Think “long enough to hold your phone, short enough to prove you’re not stuck in 2005.” Navy blue is the equivalent of autopilot for beach fashion

The Thirty-Something Parents

You’ve graduated from “What’s trendy?” to “What can I wear while chasing a toddler?”:

• Moms: Practical doesn’t mean boring! Opt for swimwear that stays put during emergency sandbox evacuations. Tankinis are like your beach life hack – quick to adjust when you’re also the designated keeper of the sunscreen and snack inventory
• Dads: Those swim shorts with multiple pockets? Your time has come. They’re basically cargo pants for the beach – equipped to carry everything from snacks to emergency toys to the dreams of your former “cool” self
• Did you know? Malta’s Blue Lagoon is so clear and blue, it’s like wearing a filter – your beach attire will look amazing without any digital enhancement!

The Fabulous Forty-Plus Crowd

This is where beach fashion gets really fun because you’ve mastered the art of not caring what others think:

• Ladies: Rock that classic one-piece or bikini that makes you feel amazing. Bonus points for a glamorous cover-up that doubles as beachwear art
• Gents: Comfortable swim shorts paired with a light shirt for walking around. Because you’ve earned the right to prioritize comfort over current trends

The Wise and Wonderful (60+)

The age where you can literally wear whatever you want and somehow make it look intentional:

• Elegant one-pieces or swim dresses with beautiful prints? Absolutely
• Classic swim shorts and a good hat? Perfect
• Full-body Victorian-era bathing costume? Okay, maybe not that vintage

Universal Tips for All Ages:

• Cover-ups are the Swiss Army knife of beach fashion – they make every situation more comfortable and are ready for any scenario
• Dark colors hide wet patches better and make you look like you know something the sun doesn’t (you’re welcome)
• The best beach outfit is the one that lets you forget what you’re wearing
• Nobody is actually looking at you – they’re all too busy worrying about their own beach fashion choices
• The Gelato Test: If you can enjoy a gelato without wardrobe malfunctions, you’ve chosen well
• For an authentic experience, watch how locals navigate beach fashion – it’s like a live fashion show where the only critique comes from the seagulls

The Golden Rule of Maltese Beach Fashion:

If you can swim in it, sit in it, and get a gelato in it (with appropriate cover-up), you’re good to go. Malta’s beaches are like a fashion democracy – there’s room for everyone’s style, from the brave souls in barely-there bikinis to the champions of full-coverage beachwear.

Remember: The most attractive thing on any beach is confidence (and maybe a really good gelato). Everything else is just details.

P.S. Whatever you choose to wear (or not wear), don’t forget the sunscreen. Because no fashion choice looks good with a sunburn that makes you look like an embarrassed lobster – especially in places that haven’t seen the sun before! 😉

Need more specific advice? Just head to any Maltese beach and observe the glorious variety of beachwear in its natural habitat. It’s like a National Geographic special, but with more sun hats.